Kay I'm officially a screwup kid.
I left four days to exams.
And great, I've been screwing up my life since the start of the year.
Great. I feel damn panic and just gah. SHIT.
That's the word. SHIT.

Right. Yeah, somehow I know I'm going to fall so bad.
Fi says put on protective gear.
Right, my protective gear kena curi sia.
So I fall right to the ground.

Had a bad day. As in I woke up at 3. Then bloody toss and turn in bed.
I couldn't go to sleep cause IDKWTH I'm thinking.
Seriously, no, actually I do know what I was thinking.
Just don't want to say it here.

Shit. Then go to school. Best, it was raining yeah.
So walked to school alone. Kena ditched by Aisyah haha.
Cause I wanted to walk in the rain.
For a while, the world was mine. Seriously somewhat happy.
Then all fall down.
SHIT.

Idkidkidkidkidk.
Kay I seriously got no idea why I'm so whineyyy here.
But seriously sia. I'm seriously serious.
Ahhh.

And I find it awesome that I can cry without people notice me crying.
Lol. Aisyah didn't notice. Cool shit huh.
Ahhh.

Great I think my mum's pissed at me.
For exceeding the limit for my bill.
Come on, I need to bloody get use to it since it's a jump from prepaid sia.
See, now she's throwing tantrums I guess.
SHIT LAH. My fault is it? Everything in the house wrong, must be my fault laah.
Yeah it's only 79$. Isnt great improvement that it's not exceeding hundred close to 200 like the other time? ~ Gah no point.
Somehow, every shit happens, it's me first. Really, since I was a kid.

Ahhh. And what sia. I spoil every shit in the house is it.
Gah. Gah. I'm so bad.
I'm a bad daughter.
I'm a bad student.
What else sia.

I cried so many tears already kay.
Regretting everything.
The more I think, the more I wish
I could push stop and then, hit rewind
Like how bfmv says it.
Ahhh. What else sia. No I never told my family how I really feel inside.
Spare them from the misery. Right, spare them from knowing how bad I am.
Spare them from knowing how everything hurt in my face.
Spare them from knowing how disappointing I am.

Ahhh, I've always been rationalistic about my actions.
Kay maybe not, maybe towards using more of feelings.
And feelings exist. Thus, there are some logic in my actions.
BUT, I do know where I stand.
Thus, if my actions are way off, I do know, cause I'm always conscious of what I'm doing.
Which is why I did this in order to do that because I am this and so on and bla.

Ahhh, whatever. Bye.