Yay I'm alive again ?

Oh yeah. Feeling shittt cause msn cant work anymore.
Heck man. I can survive. And obviously I'm lying.

SATURRRRRRRRRRday.

I felt like a kid on sat really. Had lots of fun.
Though I was feeling damn plastic.
But again, heck. I played with toys and forever will.
Someone, date me and bring me Toysareeeeeeus.
Really, I want go big big one and it's confirmed, you're gna see me smile and laugh so hard.

Haha, I rmbed we were at Adam Road and waiting fr some parking.
Suddenly I realised, damn, I dnt know what the shit I wna eat.
And I dnt feel like eating.
I guess, like never before, I just blurted out.
''I wna eat Roti Prata.''
I really go no appettite. And I dnt want to eat at Adam Road.
Idk, if I dont like something, there's really no point forcing me to.
Cause, I'm not gna regret, whoever who forced me will suffer, it's bloody true.
And I managed to get the family to Jalan Kayu.
HAHAHHA. Evil plan. Waste petrol siaaaaaa.

SUNNNNNNNNNNNNday.

Raya eve de owh. Stoned the whole day ar at home.
After prayers, haha, damn long havent pray as a family ar really.
I miss those times, I rmbed I cried because I didnt get to pray with my dad and sis.
Because my nose was bleeding. That was so long ago.
Haha, lucky my mum was there comfort me.

Oh yeah, after prayers, went to my gparents' house.
=))) Haha, I finally met Bibik Yaya.
I knew something was wrong with her ar she was drawing at tht point of time.
Her eyes tell a story. Chey like real ahem!
Haha, Bibik Nana told me ar tt she (Bibik Yaya) cant give me advice anymore.
Cause her life is kinda screwed. So yeah. I know the story actly.
The rest of the family dnt ar so it's like gahh, they are all pissed at her.
They dont even know the freaking story kay.

Ahhh, I miss Cik Asrul like shit I just wish he really become my uncle.
I'm not siding anyone but really, Cik Asrul knows tt she gah bla bla.
She like somebody whom she's not supposed to cause it's ruining someone else life.
And Cik Asrul knows and he's freaking patient to put up with her and he wont give up on her.
And guess wht, even when another girl wants to get to know him, he ask fr her permission.
Damnit. My aunt really blind but gahh, you cant force a feeling.
I feel like screaming to her, solat istihara arrr wts you two got the time and gahh.
Gahh, why am I shitty over someone else love story??
My own life I'm confused.

Kay shutup, after tht went home and watched 9September and slept.

MONNNNNNNNNNNNNday.

Woke up damn early actly and tossed around the bed.
My eyes closed but I cant sleep. I was still alive ar can hear evrth around me.
-When you sleep, you cant hear a bloody thing-
Until my dad walked into my room woke me up.
About 0615. Then bathed bla bla.
Then went out. Went Ahmad Ibrahim Mosque.
Somehow, I feel tt I went there before.
Ahhh, saw familiar faces but heck ar lol.
Blackout about 3 times.

I shall reflect about Monday later.

My mum damn joke ar.
Mum; I feel like eating blackforest cake.
Me; HUH. You dont like what. Are you serious.
Mum; Yeah, let's go Prima Deli.
And we did and we got blackforest cake. Wth, really.
I know she hates tt blueberry in the centre.

Anw, gah I think I know how she feels when und pressure or smthg.
Tht chest pain really wth. Cause I kinda have it almost every night.

TUESSSSSSSSSSSday.

Well went to soccer training. Of course it's a must.
I ate a lot time to burn it all!
Haha, lame. Kay, WTH 205.
They all never invite me go watchhhh movie I'm so hurt.
Haha, anw heck ar kinda grounded so Idc tt much.
I dnt know how to survive without 205 next yearrrrrr.
I rmb saying I come to school because of people and nthg else.
Now, I dnt know why I'm going to school. HAHAHA.
It's good to seeee Cheryl and Emmama and Sharmainee and Yu Jiaaaaa and Zik LOL.
Zik still owes me 6 blogposts ? I knew he cant do it even fr my bday. =(

Well well, after training was funnnn.
xD sweeeeeeet talk and laughter and bully.
Haha, if tt were to happen everyday damn I will so freaking happy.
And you will see me smile so hard till my cheeks burn.
And you will see me laugh so loud till you get deaf.
And you will see my eyes so bright till you get blind.
And you will see me happy so colourful till you get high.

Haha, guess you guys found this. Hari Raya Haji taught me something. As I listened to the takbir, I cried. As I listened to the imam praying, damn I thought it was beautiful. As I listened to what the imam has to say, damn I learnt something. Sacrifices. I lived fr almost 14 years now. And Idk what's sacrifice and I never learnt to appreciate them. My mum always say, there's four aspects I need to work on, perjalanan (journey), zahir (physically), hati(mentally) and antara dua alam(between both worlds/life). Well I never knew what she meant. Doing deeds in this four factors, yeah. But how, she say some people dnt have all four. So it's up to me now. And I realise, all this change need sacrifices. Perjalanan means what choices you make in life what you hold on to and face everyday. Zahir means whatever that is wajib tt I need to do which is like solat and blaaaa, that needs our physical stuff and such. Hati means whether you're sincere in whatever you do. Antara dua alam kinda means life and afterlife. Gahh, sacrifices aint easy. I wonder, how my dad did it, how my mum did it. How am I gna make it through and find that little speck of something. I guess it's true, it's iman they're talking about. Once you have iman, you shall stay young and live your life meaningfully.

kay chiao bye. tcare. \m/